Know Thyself.
I dislike my fridge.
I feel it embodies all that is bad about technology. It is allegedly ‘smart’, yet undeniably unhelpful.
It can heat water, but your choices are not limited to cold or hot water, no! What do I think it is? A plebeian 1990’s water cooler?! Hell, my bougie appliance can warm water to the proper temperature for tea, cocoa, OR soup.
You know what would be helpful? If I could know how much water was dispensed. The appliance knows it, but chooses not share it. The water has a constant flow, yet the ounces displayed increase like a free jazz base line. It knows how much it has disbursed, why not let us in on it? I’ll take it one further, could it not only display the proper amount, but HOLD it for two seconds so our tiny human brains have enough time to recognize and compute? AND dare I ask that we are given a two second grace period to decide and possibly choose to add to the amount already dispensed without having to do math in our heads?!
My fridge can show a slideshow of pictures but it can’t tell me how much water is in my glass.
I shit you not.
Did the pitch for such a useless perk include homeowners gathering friends and relatives around the 4″ diagonal to view sunglassful family selfies in front of things in Florida?
My fridge is a jerkstore. I know it and it knows I know it. And according to the immortal words of GI Joe, knowing is half the battle.
Last Updated on 11/03/2025 by Death of Hypatia Inc.
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