WIBCI the advertisements (we are constantly bombarded with) weren’t created for the lowest common denominator?
Wouldn’t It Be Cool if everything weren’t dripping with condescension and they understood we are not as stupid as they think we are/wish we were?
I personally found the following ‘commercial’ insulting. I do not believe Americans need to the services provided by the following ‘firm’, nor do I believe vast swaths of Americans are unintelligent enough to find comfort and wish to employ anything shrouded in such patronizing language. You decide:
This commercial for a ‘law firm’ is one continuous shot of a man that purposely speaks and looks very much like a parody version of Johnnie Cochran on some uppers with an unsettling mustache and hostile arm gestures. He is standing in-front of a poorly executed courtroom Greenscreen with red captioned lists that continue to aggressively splash across the screen.
He begins:
‘If you were in an accident that wasn’t your fault, your favorite attorney has a message for you…” (red arrow on screen points to the caption stating the obvious that ‘the speaker is not a lawyer.’)
“Collision? Calamity? Catastrophe?” (I believe I once thought alliteration a good thing, read on and you will see why this is no longer a conviction of mine)
“Are you: innocent? Faultless? Above reproach? (the redundancy hurts my educated brain and anyone who believes they are, ever were, or will be above reproach is not good people, so let’s stop reinforcing entitlement, no?)
“If you want money, you need an attorney.” (not justice, financial relief, or morale redemption…..no….just money)
“You need a bulldog, but finding an attorney is: laborious, strenuous, stupefying.” (now you are pissing me off, please stop talking to all people)
“That’s why you need to call the # on your screen now. They’ll connect you with a legal expert. You have questions, they have answers. They know: the legaleeze, the lingo, the jargon, and the argo.” (if they meant ergo, which means therefore, than they should have explained the pronunciation better to the actor and the closed caption writer. Alternatively, giving them no credit, I believe they just made up the word ‘argo’ which Webster only believes is a large former constellation in the southern hemisphere.)
“They will tell you how much money your case could be worth: $300,000? $2,000,000, $86,491? All sorts of numbers.” (yeah, I know those are numbers, patronizing dick.)
“Slips and fall, work accidents, car, truck, bus, motorcycle, motorbike, e-bike, tandem bike; these bulldogs will make sure people pay, and if you don’t get paid, the attorneys don’t get paid, and I don’t get paid. So I compel you, I implore you, I beseech you to pick up that phone and call now to see what your case could be worth.”
Grrrr-oooosssss I’m insulted and feel dirty, what your case is WORTH?! Does this shit actually resonate with the American public at large? Can’t you see that they are aggressively making fun of the very people they wish to call and employ them?
Can you?
Last Updated on 07/01/2026 by Death of Hypatia Inc.
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